Not So Crafty

Cringe-worthy things we wish we’d never said? It’s not like I’ve been running around with a pen and pad or a recorder collecting these little gems. But, hey, I’m guilty, having heard myself saying something that made me want to go Homer Simpson, following up with a “doh!”

So, I’ll go under the bus first. Just out of college I accepted a job with Kraft Foods as a salesman.  When they gave you the nod you were flown to New York to meet the big cheeses in their offices at 99 Park Avenue.

I had put on a few pounds.  Having had to wedge (pardon me) into my only suit I was feeling a bit insecure when I stepped into the Vice President’s office for my final meet-and-greet approval.

I was smoking in those days and to my good fortune so was the VP. I was nervous and as I was trying to make small talk, I realized I would’ve loved to have a cigarette.

Then came those wonderful words, “Care for a smoke?” the VP asked.

Yes, that would be nice and we lit up together. Things were settling down and spying a Bronx Bombers cap on his office shelf I suddenly began to babble something about always being a Yankees fan (actually, the Orioles were my team). I heard him say, as he looked out of his 23-floor office windows, “May need some better pitching this year but we are looking pretty good.”  

That’s when I topped it off. I took a big drag on my Marlboro and heard myself say, “Boy, that’s for true!”

That’s for true!

How did the conversation go from there? I have no idea but it’s been more than 60 years now and I haven’t forgotten that idiotic comment.  And THAT’S FOR TRUE!