Bob Cairns
Okay, admittedly there are 600 million blogs worldwide and 32.7 million bloggers in the U.S. But couldn’t we scooch over and make room for just one more “experienced” writer?
I refer here to Bob’s bio.
https://www.pastpageturners.com/bobs-bio
So, books, fiction and nonfiction published by St Martin’s, numerous pieces in national magazines, Sports Illustrated, TV GUIDE; and his service as a speech writer for NC State University’s chancellor.
Should you kindly read his blog, he’ll share some of his writing experiences; many came from the hundreds of personality pieces, he wrote for magazines and books.
Feature stories and personality pieces can be a goldmine—from a world champion rodeo bull rider who worried more about highway driving miles logged from one rodeo to another than being hurled from the back of a 2,000-pound bull, to a medical doctor who had saved lives at NASCAR races. How about all those Hall of Fame baseball, football and basketball players---the astronauts and five-star generals?
A blog featuring celebrities called Brushes With the Rich and Famous delivers fun and fame.
This Oh, No, blog will also share childhood reminiscences—from baseball (his unlikely Little League no-hitter actually appeared in Sports Illustrated) to “boyish behavior.” The ones called Pet Smart, about Mr. Bones, his unbroken forty-dollar donkey, and his nine pet ducks named for the NY Yankees are Bob favorites.
But the memory bank remains open, so he won’t forget his readers when he experiences something current, a blog feature called Daily Doings, little events that he finds of interest/zany and feels compelled to share.
Okay, here’s one. There was this lady at Costco who stopped him as he trundled down an aisle pushing a cart with one of those bad wheels.
She said, and he quotes, “Sir, your left front wheel is out of line and you happen to be crushing your fresh bread with those beer cases so if you don’t mind, I’d like to repack your cart.”
Taken aback, he stood back. She did do a marvelous job on the repack, and he thanked her kindly and limped off with his three-wheeled buggy, noting with some pleasure that her cart contained a pallet-sized purchase of DEPENDS.
From time to time—he’ll also shamelessly promote his websites and books! All profits going to the V Foundation for Cancer Research.
For a look-see just click above on Bob’s Books where (among others) you’ll find:
The Inn: Memoir of a “Storied” Past, where a kid grows up in a historic inn and learns to be a relentless storyteller; a basketball novel, Dear Coach, Dear Benchie, where a former coach and player relive their relationship through a series of letters; the novel Driving Mr. Crazy, a chase story with a beautiful unaware redhead behind the wheel of a semi-trailer laden with drugs and a nerd passenger holding on for dear life; and Balls of Ivy, a Kentucky horse-racing, action-packed whodunit.
Speaking of Bob’s Books for a reminiscent read at a reasonable price simply go to The Inn: Memoir of a “Storied” Past at http://amazon.com/author/bob_cairns_books.com. You’ll find Bob and a life packed with stories and peopled with genuine life changing characters like Mr. Lou, the man the Baltimore Sun called one of Maryland’s most influential historians.
Now, that the commerce has been put to bed every blog needs a tease so, just for fun, he’ll kick things off here with a few of the aforementioned mildly outrageous offerings, promoting that regular Oh No feature he’s calling:
BRUSHES WITH THE RICH AND FAMOUS!
The fact is he was the guy who pissed off John Denver. Wasn’t he the one who slipped a fastball past Joe DiMaggio for a discount autograph? Didn’t he convince Bob Hope to read a joke he’d written? Didn’t he get a call from Steve Allen saying he’d made Steve laugh? Didn’t Ed Asner, after reading one of Bob’s outrageous stories, ask if that was in Bob’s F-ing book, Stories I Couldn’t Tell Until My Mother Died?
Did George Steinbrenner send him a Yankees cap and jacket after seeing Bob cartooned as a Yankee on a baseball gum card with one of his articles in Sports Illustrated?
Didn’t he have the chutzpah to ask Bert Parks, lifelong host of the Miss America Pageant, for an interview while the poor man was finishing up at a urinal in a public restroom? Wasn’t it Richard Petty who pulled up after a photo shoot and offered to drive if the attractive photographer and Bob wanted to run off together?
Did he let it slip in an interview with Arnold Palmer that he had a hole-in-one with a 15-wood, a woman’s club called a Large Marge? Oh, and who was that guy constantly name dropping, telling anyone with two ears about being great friends with Norman Steinberg, the man who co-wrote Blazing Saddles with Mel Brooks?
Oh, gee, that was Bob!
So, although this miscellaneous blog may appear to be kind of out there, Bob’s aim is simply to entertain, maybe make his case for winding up the old writing career on his terms while bumping that international blog number up to a nifty six-hundred-million and ONE.
Bob is the author of V&Me "Everybody's Favorite Jim Valvano Story"
For more on this unique relationship with the charity click here.
Andrew Lackey, V Foundation for Cancer Research
14600 Weston Parkway, Cary, NC 27513
Phone: 919-443-3574
The Blogs
Blog Alert. Updated Periodically!
So many stories and so much time. A self-confessed livelong ear bender, as I mentioned in my homepage, I will try to make these Oh No blogs a mix---including daily observations---everything from that little tale about the lady volunteer repacking my grocery cart that I dropped on the homepage to stories I’ve gathered over the years.
In my defense three of my books have been “story” books---Pen Men---Baseball’s Greatest Bull Pen Stories Told By The Men Who Brought The Game Relief; Stories I Couldn’t Tell Until My Mother Died; and V&Me “Everybody’s Favorite Jim Valvano Story.”
Where’s Charlie?
Remember those high school basketball games when the score got so lopsided that the coach felt compelled to put the little fat guy in, the one who—to the hoots of the fans—would play down the clock through garbage time? I was that fat guy!
A Day at the Beach
As the former speechwriter for the chancellors at NC State I can promise you there was rarely a negative word written or spoken about DUKE. That said, my thanks to Coach K for the kind, thoughtful and poignant contribution that he made to my book/gathering V&Me “Everybody’s Favorite Jim Valvano Story!
Carny Capers
Back in the 1950s, during the second week of June, New Windsor, Maryland, presented its inhabitants with a canvas that would have made Norman Rockwell pack his paints and brushes and taken up residence in this little country municipality.
Hope Springs Eternal
A number of my fondest memories come equipped with mementoes—the ball that Ted Williams signed as I followed him all the way to his cab outside Washington’s old Griffith Stadium, the ball Sandy Koufax tossed to my 8-year-old son during batting practice in Dodger Town, in Vero Beach, Florida.
Aging Gracefully
Having blogged something called The I Can Almost Reach It Years, I’d like to take one more swing at aging. I’m trying here not to ignore limping, poor eyesight, frequent day-naps, hearing, chewing, insomnia, dark moods and other baggage that accompanies the latter years.
CarTTalk
If you’re considering putting your money on someone who will eventually hit the Lotto stay away from me---head to your nearest bank for a deposit, bury whatever cash you have on you in a mayonnaise jar in your backyard or just run, don’t walk, to your nearest toilet and give your cash a quick flush.
Shill and Jungle
CarTTalk was always up to something. And one of our biggest scores was wheedling our way---during baseball’s spring training---into the annual Red Sox charity golf tournament in Fort Myers, Fla.
Ocean City '60s
Recently I was reminded of days gone by when the world was so much smaller and less complicated. I’ve always had a love for nostalgia and frankly most of the pieces that I ended up writing were reminiscences for magazines like Sports Illustrated, TV GUIDE, and Field & Stream.
Bob Cairns Calling!
Oh, how I miss our old secretary, Joan! When I or anyone else in the office happened to get a phone call while seated on the john, she would beat on the men’s room door and shout, “Hey, Bob, you got a phone call!”
How’s Your Dog?
I don’t know about you but I’m a real softy when it comes to my pets. I’ll be blogging here regarding a childhood history featuring a menagerie that included everything from dogs, hamsters, parakeets, turtles, rabbits, goldfish, to nine ducks named after the New York Yankees and a $40 (unbroken) donkey named Mr. Bones.
Recognition from Greatness
I don’t know how I missed Bill Bryson in my home page’s tease Brushes With The Rich and Famous.
He’s my all-time favorite writer, a great guy and unbeknownst to him blessed me with a bloggable story for this Oh, No effort of mine.
T-Time For V
NC State upset North Carolina in March of 2024, ending a five-game historic run to win an Atlantic Coast Conference basketball tournament championship. I had to be the only fan--- cheering wildly at my TV, polishing off beers---who was thinking baseball!
Up Close
Speaking of brushes with the rich and famous. I had my Andy Warhol 15-minutes when I appeared on ESPN’S Up Close with seven-time award winner, Roy Firestone. Am I bragging here? No, although it’s been 32 years, I was scared skinny then and remain terrified today at that years ago memory.
Frankly Speaking
Here’s one that PGA golf pro Vance Heafner loved to tell. This was early in Heafner’s journeyman career on the PGA golf tour and the first year that the PGA awarded individual trophies for achievements in various categories (the most eagles, birdies, pars, etc., in sanctioned tournaments).
Julia Says
My grandmother Roop, who managed to birth and raise nine children, excused her little wise acres by simply saying, “Oh, they’re just at that age!”
Put A Lid On It
I’ve always been “blessed” with a memory that kicks in at, shall we say, an unfortunate time.
First Impression
One of the first stories I wrote was called: “I’ll Grow Up to be a Gum card” And frankly I was searching for approval but I didn’t know what to do with it, who I might ask to read it.
Praise for Steve Allen
When writing for magazines I got a number of letters. They, invariably were not singing my high praises but telling me how they related to the subject matter or the person interviewed in the piece.
Critics’ Choice
Ask most writers about reviews and critics and they will either air out praise---what the New York Times said about they’re latest book--- or quote Brendan Behan, who once famously said, “Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done; they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.”