Frankly Speaking

Here’s one that PGA golf pro Vance Heafner loved to tell. This was early in Heafner’s journeyman career on the PGA golf tour and the first year that the PGA awarded individual trophies for achievements in various categories (the most eagles, birdies, pars, etc., in sanctioned tournaments). These achievements were recognized at the PGA’s annual year-end award ceremony, and before the banquet Heafner was outside the clubhouse at Saw Grass putting on the practice green. A rather shapely blonde leaned over the ropes, took a drag on her cigarette, and called to Heafner’s caddie, “Who’s that tall blond kid?”

“That’s Vance Heafner,” the caddy said. “Vance led the PGA tour this year by making the most birdies!” The woman thought for a second and said, “Well, he must have made a shit load of bogies, ‘cause I’ve never heard of him!”