Bob Cairns
Okay, admittedly there are 600 million blogs worldwide and 32.7 million bloggers in the U.S. But couldn’t we scooch over and make room for just one more “experienced” writer?
I refer here to my bio.
https://www.pastpageturners.com/bobs-bio
So, books fiction and nonfiction published by St Martin’s, numerous pieces in national magazines, Sports Illustrated, TV GUIDE, served as a speech writer for NC State University’s chancellor.
Should you kindly read my blog I’ll share some of my writing experiences; many came from the hundreds of personality pieces I wrote for magazines and books.
Feature stories and personality pieces can be a goldmine—from a world champion rodeo bull rider who worried more about highway driving miles logged from one rodeo to another than being hurled from the back of a 2,000-pound bull, to a medical doctor who had saved lives at NASCAR races. How about all those Hall of Fame baseball, football and basketball players---the astronauts and five-star generals?
A blog featuring celebrities called Brushes With the Rich and Famous delivers fun and fame.
This Oh, No, blog will also share childhood reminiscences—from baseball (my unlikely Little League no-hitter actually appeared in Sports Illustrated) to “behavior.” The ones called Pet Smart, about Mr. Bones, my unbroken forty-dollar donkey, and my nine pet ducks named for the NY Yankees are favorites.
But the memory bank remains open, so I won’t forget my readers when I experience something current, a blog feature called Daily Doings, little events that I find of interest/zany and feel compelled to share.
Okay, here’s one. There was this lady at Costco who stopped me as I trundled down an aisle pushing a cart with one of those bad wheels.
This shopper actually took time out of her BOGO day to suggest (I didn’t know her and she was not even an employee) that I obviously didn’t have the faintest idea of how to select and or pack a grocery cart.
She said, and I quote, “Sir, your left front wheel is out of line and you happen to be crushing your fresh bread with those beer cases so if you don’t mind, I’d like to repack your cart.”
Taken aback, I stood back. She did do a marvelous job on the repack, and I thanked her kindly and limped off with my three-wheeled buggy, noting with some pleasure that her cart contained a pallet-sized purchase of DEPENDS.
From time to time—I’ll also shamelessly promote my websites and books! All profits going to the V Foundation for Cancer Research.
For national reviews just click above on Bob’s Books where (among others) you’ll find:
The Inn: Memoir of a “Storied” Past, where a kid grows up in a historic inn and learns to be a relentless storyteller; a basketball novel, Dear Coach, Dear Benchie, where a former coach and player relive their relationship through a series of letters; the novel Driving Mr. Crazy, a chase story with a beautiful unaware redhead behind the wheel of a semi-trailer laden with drugs and a nerd passenger holding on for dear life; and Balls of Ivy, a Kentucky horse-racing, action-packed whodunit.
Speaking of Bob’s Books for a reminiscent read at a reasonable price simply go to The Inn: Memoir of a “Storied” Past at http://amazon.com/author/bob_cairns_books.com. You’ll find me and a life packed with stories and people with genuine characters.
Now, that we’ve put the commerce to bed every blog needs a tease so, just for fun, I’ll kick things off here with a few of the aforementioned mildly outrageous offerings, promoting that regular Oh No feature I’m calling:
BRUSHES WITH THE RICH AND FAMOUS!
The fact is I was the guy who pissed off John Denver. Wasn’t I the one who slipped a fastball past Joe DiMaggio for a discount autograph? Didn’t I convince Bob Hope to read a joke I’d written? Didn’t I get a call from Steve Allen saying I’d made him laugh? Didn’t Ed Asner, after reading one of my outrageous stories, ask if that was in my F-ing book, Stories I Couldn’t Tell Until My Mother Died?
Did George Steinbrenner send me a Yankees cap and jacket after seeing me cartooned as a Yankee on a baseball gum card with one of my articles in Sports Illustrated?
Didn’t I have the chutzpah to ask Bert Parks, lifelong host of the Miss America Pageant, for an interview while the poor man was finishing up at a urinal in a public restroom? Wasn’t it Richard Petty who pulled up after a photo shoot and offered to drive if the attractive photographer and I wanted to run off together?
Did I let it slip in an interview with Arnold Palmer that I had a hole-in-one with a 15-wood, a woman’s club called a Large Marge? Oh, and who was that guy constantly name dropping, telling anyone with two ears about being great friends with Norman Steinberg, the man who co-wrote Blazing Saddles with Mel Brooks?
Oh, gee, that was me!
So, although this Oh, No blog may appear to be kind of out there, in a word it’s just about writing and reading fun while attempting to help raise funds to benefit the V Foundation for Cancer Research (v.org).
Undoubtably all of the above brushes and many more in more detail will find their way as features into these catch-all Oh No blogs.
So, although this miscellaneous blog may appear to be kind of out there, my aim is simply to entertain, maybe make my case for winding up the old writing career on my terms while bumping that international blog number up to a nifty six-hundred-million and ONE.
Bob Cairns and his fun-filled Oh No blog, with his other writing projects is attempting to help raise funds to benefit The V Foundation for Cancer Research. Bob is the author of V&Me "Everybody's Favorite Jim Valvano Story"
For more on this unique relationship with the charity click here.
Andrew Lackey, V Foundation for Cancer Research
14600 Weston Parkway, Cary, NC 27513
Phone: 919-443-3574
The Blogs
Blog Alert. Updated Periodically!
So many stories and so much time. A self-confessed livelong ear bender, as I mentioned in my homepage, I will try to make these Oh No blogs a mix---including daily observations---everything from that little tale about the lady volunteer repacking my grocery cart that I dropped on the homepage to stories I’ve gathered over the years.
In my defense three of my books have been “story” books---Pen Men---Baseball’s Greatest Bull Pen Stories Told By The Men Who Brought The Game Relief; Stories I Couldn’t Tell Until My Mother Died; and V&Me “Everybody’s Favorite Jim Valvano Story.”
If the Shoe Fits
I guess this one would qualify for a Brushes with the Rich and Famous. Most bigtime college coaches have radio call in shows and Jim Valvano, the National Championship basketball coach at NC State, was no exception.
Santa Suit
After graduating from college, I took a sales job with Kraft Foods in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. And during my two years there I had the unique pleasure of working with Arthur Rymoff, one of the greatest characters I ever, in all my years, met.
Rejections
Lately, I’ve been thinking that perhaps I might as well reinforce the thoughts from my www.ohno.com landing page with some examples of what I was getting at when I wrote the following: “….while my work brought some attention, it came with writer’s sweat and truckloads of rejections.”
Lunch Time
We had a young intern at NC State who was thrilled when we took him along on a video shoot to Chicago. As we were making our way down Michigan Avenue one of the crew asked where we wanted to eat. He followed up by asking Jamie, the intern if he might have a preference.
First Interview
Rarely can a writer recall their very first interview. Would that I couldn’t. A friend of mine who was in radio was developing a new 30-second feature called Sport Shots. Knowing I was a big sports fan he suggested I get a recorder and pick off brief interviews with celebrity athletes, the idea being that he would laydown a bunch of my efforts on cassette tapes and market them nationally to radio stations.
Pick A Winner
While working at NC State University I found my niche in marketing and during those years I developed a number of programs to bring attention to that fine old land-grant university. I wrote everything from halftime spots for athletic events to public TV programs to plays to statewide outdoor marketing.
Not So Crafty
Cringe-worthy things we wish we’d never said? It’s not like I’ve been running around with a pen and pad or a recorder collecting these little gems. But, hey, I’m guilty, having heard myself saying something that made me want to go Homer Simpson, following up with a “doh!”